There's a great descent: from the intellectual to the intuitive, from the theoretical to the experiential. It's a radical "taking responsibility" for more than our share of the world's pain. It's a real dying: and it'll cost us the body's garment of skins, that's certain. But it'll also cost us the "garment of leaves" of the ego. Non-self is the wedding garment Rabbouni was talking about. I couldn't tell you that, because the journey of that descent is yours, and yours alone, to make. I did it too. And before the end, you will join them in calling me a great satan, the father of obstacles. It's you who say it. But I am also wisdom. The point is, both the obstacle and the solution are within. Just like Rabbouni's kingdom, and everything else. Dig beneath the unfruitful tree of your own existence; descend and address the rot at the roots. And when you encounter the obstacle, just be ready to see that "who you are" is more than that. I am here to tell you that you are all of it. And I'm here to help you find acceptance and healing and power in the totality of that being.
Satisfying desires comes with increasingly limited payout. Still: everyone in the equation is free, and no one can be forced to provide what you feel you need. This is a great predicament, that will unravel all the toxic emotions of self-will. You will live in a climate of great anxiety. It will teach you to allow creative tension to form you. You will die at the hands of resentment daily. It will teach you to care for yourself and allow me to help you. You will misplace blame a thousand times. It will teach you to be healthily uncertain about your capacity to judge. The games you play in an attempt to end-run around freedom and responsibility will seem increasingly worthless. Doing good isn't an effective strategy for getting others to do what you want. And don't say "I should, then, have been more willful." Because that way of being comes at a cost as well. Your gains are dishonest wealth; and if you've not been faithful with dishonest wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? If you have not been faithful with what belongs to another, who will give you what is your own? You are evil and good, prudent and foolish, innocent as doves and wise as serpents. Being all of it will teach you how to wield power gently and compassionately. More and more, total acceptance will seem like the only useful work. You have been sly as a fox for thousands of lifetimes. You crave. You're drawn to some things, averse to others. You thirst. Not every source of discomfort is a problem to be solved. Stop being "this and that" in an attempt to correct "that and this." You are who you are. Just be.
You will look and not perceive. You will listen and not understand. You will honor God with your lips, but your heart will be far from him. Right now, ego is filtering your entire experience. By and by, you'll learn to hear with your ears instead of your mind. You'll learn to feel sensations with your hands. You'll learn to feel emotions with true vulnerability. You'll learn to act willingly instead of willfully. Don't worry. Just as silence conceals obstacles, it also conceals the subtle power of the entire cosmos. All of the things that need to be done will get done. Relax. The need to be in charge is causing you more stress than you need in your life.
Look: today and tomorrow, Rabbouni is casting out demons and performing cures. But know that, on the third day, when he finishes his work, he will go inside as well. You will long to see one of the days of the son of man, and you will not see it. But do not allow your attention to wander. You will get to the point where you're eyelash to eyelash with the messiah; then, in the blink of an eye, you will see him no longer, and he will see with your eyes and hear with your ears. The day of the son of man will be like lightning. When there is no inside or outside, there will also be no me and no you and no him. The voices saying "turn these stones to bread" and "let us make man in our image" will be silent. There's no doubt that time will come when God will be all, and in all. The real question is, when that time is now, what will we be? Will you be gone with the other? You already have the answer.
You will look and not perceive. You will listen and not understand. You will honor God with your lips, but your heart will be far from him. Right now, ego is filtering your entire experience. By and by, you'll learn to hear with your ears instead of your mind. You'll learn to feel sensations with your hands. You'll learn to feel emotions with true vulnerability. You'll learn to act willingly instead of willfully. Don't worry. Just as silence conceals obstacles, it also conceals the subtle power of the entire cosmos. All of the things that need to be done will get done. Relax. The need to be in charge is causing you more stress than you need in your life.
Look: today and tomorrow, Rabbouni is casting out demons and performing cures. But know that, on the third day, when he finishes his work, he will go inside as well. You will long to see one of the days of the son of man, and you will not see it. But do not allow your attention to wander. You will get to the point where you're eyelash to eyelash with the messiah; then, in the blink of an eye, you will see him no longer, and he will see with your eyes and hear with your ears. The day of the son of man will be like lightning. When there is no inside or outside, there will also be no me and no you and no him. The voices saying "turn these stones to bread" and "let us make man in our image" will be silent. There's no doubt that time will come when God will be all, and in all. The real question is, when that time is now, what will we be? Will you be gone with the other? You already have the answer.
