Dialogues with Mystery 12

When you rise in the morning: realize that part of you sees the day as a crisis. And part of you is looking for behaviors and substances and circumstances that will soothe that sense of crisis. This could be coffee, lust, the distraction of mindless internet strolling. (Make no mistake, you’ll choose when and where to indulge those crutches, and when and where to forgo them, and that’s ok—it’s just a matter, knowing that all indulged desires take a toll, of choosing your cost.) Absent security and comfort, you will begin to blame others. It’s often those who, bound to you by some personal affection or professional responsibility, definitely SHOULD kick in and help. Blame is fruitless too, and provides short term cold comfort at best. Better not to indulge it, but if you don’t know it’s fruitless from experience, give blame some time and energy—learn where the dead ends are early, so you can move on.

Here’s the work:[bxA] Daily, to train intention and attention on the emotions and sensations of your body--so as to be present to yourself in the first place. Daily, to commit to enabling YOURSELF to be safely vulnerable. Daily, to come to YOUR OWN defense. Daily, to rouse your sense of might and empowerment toward taking responsibility for the corner of unjust suffering that it’s your task to lift.

These commitments are hard. Facing crises you’d rather deny, defending yourself when it shouldn’t be necessary, and forgoing the comforts of blame (shallow and temporary though they may be,) this usually only comes after a long battle with our own toxicity has convinced you of its fruitlessness. But there is a way in which taking responsibility for your corner of undeserved suffering allows space for transformation of the suffering itself, and preserves what spiritual energy and attention you have for getting through the day as peacefully as possible. Later on, when paired with gently focused attention, that energy will allow you to discover a great sense of empathy, compassion, and broken-heartedness for all people, facing together the common, uncomfortable predicament of daily existence.